Episode 02 流行歌手Andy Grammer为啥硬撑着读完《五十度灰》？

Hey, what's up? Liu Yan here. Welcome to a new episode of They Said.

In case this is your first time listening, let me do a quick self-plug. They Said is a new program I launched recently. In each episode, I'll share a few clips from some of the most fascinating interviews I have come across. The interviewees are all prominent figures who have taught me great lessons in one way or another. Since I believe in lifelong learning, I hope these lessons will also help you in some capacity.

All right, let's get down to business. The first clip I'm going to share today is from Ray Dalio. He is the founder, Co-Chairman and Co-Chief Investment Officer of investment firm Bridgewater Associates, one of the world's largest hedge funds. In case finance is not your thing and all that introduction sounds like jibberish, you just need to know that Ray Dalio is a billionaire investor. You will be hard-pressed to find someone more successful than him.

What's interesting is that Ray Dalio doesn't consider financial gains to be his so-called success. He thinks developing the skills to "disagree well" is the true yardstick.

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OK. I've heard so many people talk about not getting defensive, agreeing to disagree, taking the high road, yada yada yada. That's kind of trite. And honestly, I think it just leads to passive-aggressive behavior more often than not, and people can use it as an excuse. Like, "I'm not going down this road with you. You are unreasonable, and we can never get on the same page. I might as well just give up."

It could prevent an escalated fight, I suppose, but it doesn't really solve the problem. The disagreement is still there, and you still can't push the project or whatever you are trying to do forward.

So yeah, I think we all need to learn to "disagree well". I certainly have faltered many, many times in this regard. It's just too easy to feel personally attacked when others disagree with me, especially if it's something I feel strongly about. So next time, I'll try to pause, and think: What are the protocols for us to disagree well? How should we do this thing? Like Ray suggested.

The second clip I'm gonna share is from Lorene Scafaria. She is the writer/director of the hit film Hustlers. Hustlers is inspired by a true story, and  follows a bunch of savvy former strip club employees who turn the tables on their Wall Street clients.

I assumed that Lorene Scafaria had the intention of making a feminist film, and that's why she picked this story. Turns out, I was just partially correct.

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Lorene mentioned that the broken value system did damage to both genders. As a man, I certainly appreciate that. I mean, it's not a competition, and women deserve to have all their unfair treatment highlighted, but it's also nice to acknowledge that men are treated unfairly too. As a culture, we need to stop and think, maybe certain messages should be scrapped once and for all. For example, women should be judged by their looks, men by their money, women shouldn't be too amibitious, men shouldn't cry. So on and so forth. They are all bullshit, for lack of a better word.

The last clip I'm gonna share is from Andy Grammer and Dean Lewis. Andy is American, and Dean is Australian. They are both fantastic singersongwriters. They certainly seem like fast friends, finishing each other's sentences with ease.

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It's amazing how much ground they have covered in less than 2 minutes. From how to get a project started, to having the right balance, to fomo, to learning to say no to others and say yes to yourself. 

All of them are great points, but my absolute favorite moment is when Andy Grammer mentioned he hated Fifty Shades of Grey after reading just a few chapters, but he stuck with it and finished the book anyway. He just had to know what the fuss was all about. Oh I relate to that SO HARD. I actually laughed out loud.

FOMO is such a powerful impetus, but really, if you do something just because you fear missing out, you are in fact letting others control what you should do. It's just not worth it.

That's it for today. If this is your first time listening to They Said, I hope you go back and listen to the previous episode or episodes. It's truly a labor of love. I'm Liu Yan. Let's learn and grow together. See you next time!